


Beautiful People Everywhere

by MoreHuman



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Awkwardness, Ficlet, Gen, Pansexual Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:42:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26399623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoreHuman/pseuds/MoreHuman
Summary: David noticed her right away when he and Clint showed up at the nursery.
Relationships: Clint Brewer & David Rose
Comments: 55
Kudos: 225





	Beautiful People Everywhere

**Author's Note:**

  * For [spiffymittens](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiffymittens/gifts).



> To fill the irresistible prompt: Clint and David are out together and get flustered around a random hot woman.
> 
> I figured after all the words I’ve spilled about Patrick’s gay experience, I owed David some about his pan experience.

The thing about beautiful people is that they’re everywhere. 

It scares David, sometimes, to think about how he almost didn’t learn about that. If his family had never lost their money, he might have lived out his life believing that beautiful people only sprouted up in the places curated especially for them—Chelsea, West Hollywood, Saint Tropez. He would’ve missed out on all the beautiful people who thrive in the middle of nowhere, like the woman currently helping load trays of flowers and bags of fertilizer into his father-in-law’s truck.

David noticed her right away when he and Clint showed up at the nursery. She greeted them at the door with a bright smile, a glossy ponytail, and a full sleeve tattoo of hyacinths and water lilies. Her tank top and jeans are Eddie Bauer, but her sunglasses are Oliver Peoples, and that’s a combination of taste and practicality that, it turns out, really does it for David. Something else he almost never learned.

The thing about beautiful people in the middle of nowhere is that they don’t know how good they look. Or, they do know it, but they don’t _use_ it. They don’t try to get something out of you with it, not like they would in Chelsea or West Hollywood. They just say “Excuse me,” and lean into your space to shove the last sack of dirt further back into the truck bed, bending over and grunting like they don’t care what you think.

David’s not thinking anything. Not about the bending over or the grunting or the seam of sweat blooming at the collar of her tank top. He’s definitely not _staring_ , because he’s not a creep. But he is... Well. He’s extremely pansexual, and he’s been sharing an air mattress with his husband in his in-laws’ den, and he hasn’t gotten off in a week. So. He looks somewhere, anywhere else before he embarrasses himself.

He ends up embarrassing himself anyway when the somewhere else he looks is straight into his father-in-law’s face. Clint has also gone a bit slack-jawed and shifty-eyed, but when he catches David’s gaze his expression drops into surprise. That doesn’t make any sense. How can _he_ be surprised by beautiful people in the middle of nowhere? He raised one of them.

Clint looks down at the ground, arms crossed, rolling on the balls of his feet, the universal Brewer body language of sheepishness, and it really does take _all_ those clues for David to understand. Clint is surprised because he assumed his son’s husband would be immune to what’s going on here.

“Anything else I can do for you guys?” The woman rises up between them with her Oliver Peoples and her flushed cheeks and her hands swiping across her thighs.

“No, I think you’ve done enough. I mean—You’ve done too much. I mean! You’re very helpful and good at your job, thank you,” David replies, not panicking at all as he climbs into the cab of the truck.

The ride home gets off to a silent, awkward start.

David knows exactly what he would say if it were Patrick in the driver’s seat. He’s said it—okay, whined it, really—every time he’s had to explain to his husband that they were just in the presence of an unbearably sexy woman. “There are beautiful people _everywhere_ , Patrick. You literally don’t know the half of it.”

With nothing to explain, he isn’t sure what to say. He has the sudden urge to share the story of the couple he brought home from college. He has the sudden urge to tell someone to _deal with it_.

Clint does deal with it, without being told. He slows for a stop sign, whistles low, and pulls a single word up from a deep well of appreciation: “Women.”

“Mm-hm. Yes,” David agrees, looking out the window and taming the twitch of a smile. “Women.”


End file.
